Kate K

I have extremely terrible long-term memory... what I can remember of my whole childhood is patchy at best, so most of the *strong* memories I do have are of "extreme" times. This is my strongest and most coherent of early memories, so I've decided that it's my first: I can't remember exactly how old I was, but I think maybe around 5 years old, given the context and how old my brother must have been. I was at my grandparents' summer trailer up north and decided it would be a good idea to pull my brother around on a lawn chair with a length of rope attached to it.

I guess the chair must have snagged on a rock or something, because I tripped, let go of the rope, and fell into the fire pit. There was no fire burning at the time (thank god), but there were quite a few hot embers, which burned and got stuck to my left elbow. My memory kicks in a bit later, with vague memories of the frenzied ride to the hospital, but it's not very clear.

The next thing I remember is being at the hospital, and sitting on the doctor's table... she (I think she) has to use tweezers to pick the ash out of my burned skin... it's very painful.

The strongest part of this memory comes later, when I'm lying down at the hospital... I'm not really sure why I'm lying down and why there's no one else around, but the nurse has set up this toy clown that plays music and spins around maybe...... to put me to sleep or distract me from the pain. It's terrifying as fuck, and with that image in my head I go to sleep. I still have very faint scar in the shape of two triangles on my elbow and a vague fear of clowns.